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Flea Moon, Womb Moon

May’s full moon is often called the Planting moon, though new moon is generally recommended for planting root crops.   This year’s May new moon I have named in honor of accelerated spring cleaning due to taking the Himalayan in for his lion cut (necessary when the very full hair gets too long for him to care for, and it starts getting matted), and having the groom tell us he had “just a few fleas”.  Sigh.  Bathing him isn’t too bad, he’s learned to be resigned to it, but bathing the other cats is a real chore.

Someone’s post last week got me thinking about talking about the things that are a drag, the things that get you down.  Zie was talking about how futile (and depressing) it is to get into a competitive state over such things, the “my scab is worse than yours” silliness.  A number of people said that was way they didn't post about their problems, disappointments, and pain.  It made me think back over a lot of my posts, which have often been about the problems and frustrations of my life.  Why has that been what I feel pushed to write, lately?

Then, I thought back on my moon posts; so many of these have not been the meditations I first imagined, but instead, amount to “shit happens, and I'm not happy about it, but I’m still here.”  In the day or so after the last one, I wrote two proto-songs—words without music, which I never count as finished, since so often the music inspires improvements.  It’s as if “speaking” about my problems, even not knowing if anyone’s “listening”, let those thoughts and feelings out of the buffer, leaving room for something more creative.  I'm not sure about the others, I wasn't thinking in terms of tracking things this way, but it seems to me that there was a connection, that the timing wasn't accidental. 

I did a poem once, called Emptiness is a Womb.  I don't have it handy to post right now, but even just the title resonates.  So does planting--before you plant, you clear out the weeds, leaving the ground empty.  Maybe my moon posts aren't supposed to be the great literature I'd dreamed of, maybe they're the weeding, the spring cleaning, the work that makes room for something new. 

So, I dub today the Womb moon, to honor the dark, waiting quiet, the welcoming space, the open time, with hope for what will sprout and grow and bloom. 

Maybe even soon!

Comments

( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
mdlbear
May. 5th, 2008 11:07 pm (UTC)
Womb moon --I like that. Talking and writing about my problems are definitely part of the process, even if it's only talking and writing to myself. I have to describe something clearly in order to understand it, and I have to understand it before I can move past it.
wyld_dandelyon
May. 6th, 2008 02:01 pm (UTC)
Thank you. The more I think about it, the more I like it too.

As to process, I find that saying stuff to myself isn't enouigh. I don't understand why not; if it was merely a need to hear it myself, to understand it, myself, and/or to express it to myselr, it should work. So it's something more.

And if it was a need to get feedback, then saying it in a forum here, where often no one responds, then that shouldn't work, unless someone does respond.

I wonder if it's the act of putting it out in the universe where it can get read that works, or if knowing someone actually heard me is needed? I didn't specifically remember someone answering the last full moon post, but when I looked, I saw that HarperJen did...so that question isn't answered.
mdlbear
May. 6th, 2008 03:25 pm (UTC)
I think it must be the act of publishing, at least for me. I'm always happy if people respond, but just knowing that people have read it, or might read it in the future, seems to make a big difference in writing's effect on me. I guess that's why I rarely friends-lock, and why I'm having so much trouble getting a personal journal off the ground.

If a poem falls in a private journal with no-one to read it, did it really make a difference? I guess I'd have to answer "no".
wyld_dandelyon
May. 6th, 2008 03:31 pm (UTC)
lol -- I was thinking of adding, if words are spoken with no one to hear them, was there really any sound, but wasn't really happy with the phrasing.

Definitely, welcome to my friends list"! It's nice to have a a kindred soul "here"!
mdlbear
May. 6th, 2008 05:22 pm (UTC)
*laugh*

((happy hug))

It's nice to be here. (And I'm not shy about calling it a place -- I made that call nearly two decades ago about alt.callahans, and have had no reason to change my mind.)
wyld_dandelyon
May. 6th, 2008 07:11 pm (UTC)
It is not so much that I am shy to call LJ a place, as that I was thinking how sad it is that so many of the people I'd love to spend time with in person live in California, while I am still living in Milwaukee. So we share one "here" in words and thoughts, but in so many other ways are hundreds of miles away. So saying you are here has irony well intermixed.
mdlbear
May. 7th, 2008 03:30 am (UTC)
Indeed. I have more friends who I see only online or at one or two conventions per year, than I have here in California.

*sigh*
wyld_dandelyon
May. 6th, 2008 03:39 pm (UTC)
If you want a personal journal, maybe it would help if you thought of your personal journal as a “rough draft” journal—-stuff that you will likely want to share, with a few people or with everyone, but not yet, not until after you’re confident you’re saying it right and that you’ve chosen the right audience?
mdlbear
May. 6th, 2008 05:19 pm (UTC)
That might work. A lot of it would be things that I might share with one or two people.

For other things, I was thinking of something along the lines of the traditional "dear diary" - in my case, letters to Amy, who never really existed.

Hmm; sounds like two personal journals...
harperjen
May. 6th, 2008 01:17 am (UTC)
the Womb moon
Or, as Mike puts it in Stranger in a Strange Land, "Waiting is. . .Waiting will fill." Here's hoping your garden will sprout and grow and bloom soon for you! :)
wyld_dandelyon
May. 6th, 2008 02:02 pm (UTC)
Re: the Womb moon
Thanks! (-:
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )

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